When our heart feels closed we feel distant. From ourselves, our family, our friends and the world. This is the exact time to practice keeping your heart open.
Now and then something happens in our lives and it obliterates everything we know to be true. Whether anticipated or unexpected, it can knock us off our feet.
No doubt, change is afoot and there are valuable lessons to be learned and perhaps not just for you but for others around you. The wiser we get, the more we start to recognize these universal communications let’s call them Umails. They mostly seem to be born from bad or negative circumstances and whether highly traumatic or seemingly small, we need to try with all our spiritual might to rebrand them as they are almost always an opportunity to learn and ultimately reach a higher level of consciousness and in turn, inner peace.
Allowing pessimism, disapproval, despair, self-sabotage, and anxiety to consume us should not be comforting or usual. But remembering our thoughts are a reflection of what we truly desire should be a daily ritual. When something happens, and our hearts decide to go on lockdown, the first thing we have to do is stay away from blaming others or shaming ourselves but ask ourselves these questions;
- Am I in self-protection mode?
- Am I protecting myself from more hurt?
- Am I disallowing something new, pure and unexpected to enter into my life?
It’s simple really…
Think about it; we wouldn’t notice anything needed to change if everything was hunky-dory. So when stuff doesn’t go our way, we have the option to accept it, take our hands off the steering wheel, and cruise along without control until the answers come. When you trust what is in store for you is for your greater good, this can be an electric time of anticipation and excitement for what is around the corner.
I’ve learned that allowing your heart to open and remain open means owning your vulnerability and all that comes with it. And yes, it can be a grueling process, but know this; opportunities will continue to present themselves time and time again unless we address them. So it’s time to wake up and smell the roses, and boy, do they smell good when you get there!
The real challenge lies in digesting the fact that this has happened for a reason beyond our control. Ultimately there are options available that almost certainly differ from those we originally perceived. Processing, understanding, and accepting that life isn’t going the way we had planned or hoped, is the first mountain to climb. Then we must allow ourselves to coast on this stepping-stone to ultimately learn what we are supposed to learn.
‘But I didn’t need to learn anything!’, ‘But I was OK!’, ‘But I didn’t ask for this!’
BUT the universe needs to talk to you for good reason. It still needs to guide you to your rightful knowing. That Umail is still coming at you, whether you like it or not!
What we sometimes find hard to digest, is that we are not the only ones affected. Whatever is happening to us right now, has an effect on others too and I for one am totally in love with the concept that my pain has a ripple effect on someone else’s happiness. I’ll certainly take that one for the team that is humanity. Wouldn’t you?
five steps to keep an open heart when it’s firmly shut.
Learn to recognise when you have no choice but to allow the universe to take over. Understand the wall is far too tall to climb alone and you need help to get to the other side. Rest assured that there is another secret door in this wall that you haven’t found, most probably because it’s not there yet, and when the penny drops and you realise that you can do no more, the door will appear for you to walk effortlessly and gracefully through.
Not to be mistaken for recognition. There is a fine line between the two, and they have to work in this order. The penny must drop first for you to give your blessing for whatever is to come. You may think that to admit you can do no more is giving up. It is not. The key? Never attach a story to any situation. Yes, you can look at it from all angles and perhaps even understand how this could play out, but you don’t know the outcome and won’t until the time is right. Why try and figure it out before it has shown its true motive? Why force an issue not ready to manifest? Why waste your energy? You will always be surprised!
Allowing the possibility of change to happen is incredibly liberating. Have you ever tried walking for five minutes blindfolded with someone you love to lead the way? I did it very recently. For the first minute, I had to honestly focus on allowing myself to trust my partner to guide me. Once I was there – and it took time, I mostly could see myself walking close to the edge of a cliff – not ideal, but after this exercise in surrender and trust, I understood that it was hard for me to do just that at the drop of a hat. Also that I had a deep-rooted fear of the unknown, which gave me something I could actively work on. It is time for a rebrand. How about thinking that the unknown, although perplexing, is a thrilling, inspiring, thought-provoking, and powerful place. And it’s yours for the taking!
4. Letting Go
Everyone has stuff they have been carrying for years that is no longer needed. It clogs up our energy, puts us into resistance, and stagnates us in our daily lives. This part is the minefield and well worth the exploration. Patterns and behaviours, past traumas, baseline fears….it all takes time, courage, wisdom, and strength to release. It requires, among other things, for us to be comfortable with a new mindset and set about quality time for ourselves to heal.
As we cling to an outcome that doesn’t yet exist we waste vital focus on being excited about what’s to come. I often think about football fans shouting and screaming at their team, then moaning about performance and decisions, and then they are nothing less than distraught when their team loses. That’s because they have already visualized a win. Disappointment happens when you cling. So choose to let go of the story you are attaching, and your heart will slowly open.
Love Had Already Won
If we decide to keep love at the heart of everything we do and feel, we will pave the way for true spiritual open-heartedness to occur.
The book ‘Love Is Letting Go Of Fear’, by Gerald Jampolsky (winner, winner chicken dinner) states that there are only two emotions from which all others stem and they are ‘Love’ and ‘Fear’.
With this droplet of gold firmly in our minds, it is amazing to remember when things aren’t going our way, to take time to strip away to the very reasons for our upset.
If you do the work, undoubtedly, all that will remain is either love or fear, and when we realise that these two emotions are at the core of everything, we then have a choice to react differently. Allowing ourselves the space between emotion and reaction is a game-changer. It is sacred and offers us the chance to stay true to our slowly opening hearts and let go of our fears.
Our New Mantra ‘I am Openhearted!’
We need steady reminders to allow our sore hearts to open up to an even better, brighter, and enlightened future, and living with an open heart is vital for spiritual growth and happiness. Learning to create a space to hold yourself like no other can, is the block we need to dissipate. Only then, will our hearts expand and entice the life we truly desire.
Taking responsibility for the emotions, we feel and knowing that we can and can’t control them is an amazing feeling. Our thoughts create the reality we experience, and therefore we can choose to feel angry, or let it go, with love.
Know that anger is born from fear, and to honestly love ourselves and others around us, we have to let that go, without question. Our heart may feel broken, but the vitality that this action ensures can be one of the most emancipating feelings you can ever feel.
The bottom line is that we have to be broken to be open. Trying to be on constant self-protect from all that could potentially upset the balance is unsustainable. So let’s look at each personal challenge or difficulty in a different way, a positive way an opportunity to live our lives with an open heart.