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A Guide To Creating A Reliable Self That Will Carry Us Through The Discomfort Of Change.
New year blessings to you all and welcome to 2022. Life here in Gozo is sweetly simple - every day more inspiration & transformation. I enrolled myself in some online training to update my knowledge and practices while simultaneously giving a teacher training - really stretching my limits & believing I can. It’s been interesting to be so deep in it. I'm so used to having plenty of free time and for six weeks this wasn’t the case. My practice was to keep myself grounded and remind myself that it was ok to say 'No!' to any other social offerings coming in. My theme this month is 'Transformation' which requires self-reliance. A self upon which we can rely and trust to carry us through the discomfort of change.
Here are some questions for reflection:
- What would you like to transform? (Bringing a so called ‘death’ to something to rebirth something else.)
- What allows you to feel happy by yourself, in yourself and about yourself without needing to rely on others?
- What do you think involves developing self acceptance?
- What is your perspective in life?
Self-reliance directs us to our internal compass to know the truth within. To know when it’s time to release and when it’s time to move into new territory.
In an essay written by Ralph Waldo Emerson in 1841, he boldly stated that society has an adverse effect on a person’s growth. He stated that self-sufficiency gives a person in society the freedom they need to discover one’s true self and attain one’s true independence. He believed that individualism, personal responsibility, and nonconformity were essential to a thriving society.
To get there each person has to do the work on themselves to achieve this level of individualism. Today, we see the breakdowns of society and wonder how we arrived at this state of society. One can simply look at how basic concepts of self-trust, self-awareness, and self-acceptance have been greatly ignored.
How can we become more Self Reliant?
- Following our individual will instead of conforming to societal or family expectations.
- Following one’s own voice by thinking independently and embracing your individuality, rather than leaders, churches, cults or gurus. Having a direct life experience that is yours is imperative!
- Self sufficiency as you strive towards your own goals with courage and self acceptance. Not looking to others for approval as this creates dependency.
- Building your inner confidence so you can make your own decisions for your own life.
The Importance Of Having Self-Reliance
Having self-reliance is important for several reasons. The most obvious is that depending on others for help means there will be times when it’s not available. You may want to develop self-reliance tools for yourself, or to help someone else on their own self-reliance journey? In an article on developing self-reliance, Mental Health Counsellor Mandy Kloppers offers several practical steps. Her main tips include:
1. Accepting yourself, and being your own best friend.
Learning and appreciating your own character strengths is very important in being able to support yourself as you go through life. What are your character strengths? Are you kind? Curious? Brave? Reflect on your achievements and the things you accomplish that make you feel proud. It’s important not to put yourself down or sabotage your own efforts.
2. Inner confidence
In society, we’re conditioned to feel happy when we receive compliments, praise, and reassurance from others. If that’s not forthcoming, we can feel insecure or vulnerable, sometimes even helpless. Being self-reliant involves the ability to feel confident in yourself when these aren’t around, because they may not always be. Not sure what to be confident about? Think of the times when you did feel confident and bring that energy into your being.
3. Making our own decisions.
Kloppers advises against looking consistently outside for security and relying on others to accept us for who we are. When we can accept ourselves as unique and practice non-judgement, we can find security from inner sources. This rational, independent thinking is something we’ve already touched on. As children, we learn to look to others for guidance when solving problems or making decisions.
The tendency becomes ingrained within us, and as adults, we aren’t always capable of handling adversity in a way that we feel sure about. Have confidence in your own capabilities and it becomes a lot easier to find security within.
4. Recognise and manage dependence
Becoming aware of when you tend to turn to others is a part of self-knowledge. We may know that we turn to others for certain things, but sometimes this means we’re missing out on a chance to build up our own confidence. Setting goals and achieving them your own way not only gives you a sense of accomplishment and reward but greater belief in your own judgment.
5. Accept yourself for who you are
Self-acceptance is a huge thing. Instead of looking to others for approval, it’s alright to give that approval to yourself. Seeking others’ acceptance is yet another way that we practice dependence on others, and it can be a pervasive, hard-to-shake habit. To develop self-reliance, we need to notice these tendencies before we can change them. But it’s worth it.
Explore these further ways to develop self-reliance…
- Having your own values.
- Not relying on ‘things’ to feel happiness.
- Decide who you want to be, and how you want to get there.
I wish you all a life where you are living in your authentic truth, your way all the way. Peace in and out. Michelle x
Michelle Bartolo's 2022 Offerings 1.) 40 Day Live Online Sadhana (breath & sound practices) January 17 - February 25th. EVERYDAY for 40 days 7.00 - 7.30am CET 2. Yoga Teacher Training Spring & Fall | 2022 KriyaAsana 200 hr YTT Courses in GOZO or ONLINE 3.) Weekly KriyaAsana Classes In Gozo Two classes a week on Mondays & Wednesdays from 18.30 - 20.00 in Gharb, Gozo. Booking is necessary. 4.) KriyaAsana Weekly Classes On Zoom For the global community, Michelle offers a live class on Zoom every Tuesday from 18.30 - 19.45 (CET).Booking is necessary. 5) KriyaAsana 8 Day Retreat | GOZO October 8-15th | 2022 For more information and to book: Website | Facebook | Instagram | YouTube | Email