Stripping Back The Menopause And Finding Its Gold.
The Menopause can be a scary place for some. The unknown often is. But as the seasons change around us, so do we and although we may not know what is around the corner we can certainly picture a pot of gold
Wait, who turned up the heat? What’s that rash on my foot? Why do I feel like I’ve been run over by a truck? I want to cry, but I don’t know why. Again…
This summer I was hit by the menopause. The change beast. The hormone hijacker. The energy vampire.
It commandeered my spirit and replaced it with a stranger. It took my boundless energy and turned it into a lazy mess. It filled my joyful heart with fury and turned my happy thoughts into nothing but doom and gloom. It swiped my patience and traded it with irritation and tuned into my ego and made it roar.
It wiped away my caring nature and replaced it with apathy. It got hold of the gills in my throat and made them pulsate until they ached. It spiraled into my hopes and dreams and made them feel small and worthless. It made the world look bleak and filled my eyes with unwanted tears until I couldn’t see.
Let me rephrase.
This summer I could have been taken over by the menopause monster, but instead of fighting it, I opened the door, and let it in.
One day, I found a quiet corner on the Gozitan cliffs overlooking the sea and sat to take in some deep soulful breaths. We are blessed with so many beautiful coastal walks and hide away spots on Gozo. As I sat looking out to the sea, I was instantly reminded that now is the only thing that matters.
I saw a single lonely sailboat which at first made me cry until I saw its lone power in the middle of this wide ocean of blue. I saw a solitary butterfly, not flying around lonely and lost, but dancing around the air, going about its business and enjoying its own company.
Thank You, Menopause Monster;
For stopping me in my tracks and making me strong. For your gift of grace and for allowing me to see your beauty. Thanks for reminding me that I am not defined by who I am or who I was, nor what I do or how I feel today.
Thanks for allowing me to dive deep into my wounds, win the battles, and stand stronger than ever. For showing me how to keep my heart open through this inner, mysterious war and feel, once again that my wrinkles are my stripes.
Thank you for the reminder that it’s OK when the world keeps turning and I am stood perfectly still. And that I was to honour this change and laugh out loud – because mostly it doesn’t matter.
Thanks for allowing me to just be.
I give thanks for your teachings on how to be the heroine in this novel of mine and for reminding me I can survive when the odds are stacked against me.
I am grateful that I have made time to take myself away and ground myself. Take a breath and renew.
As I was sat on the cliffs of beautiful Gozo, I felt my heavy heart of ice slowly melt into a warm beam of acceptance. I felt all corners of my confusion and disconnect and loved them harder than I could imagine.
I felt the ferocious mess in my stomach slowly dissipate and watched the fog that covered my brain, gently clear. I felt nothing but calm and thanked the universe for these lessons at this ripe, phenomenal age.
Not all monsters are bad.
Did this resonate with you? Leave your comments below. For more information about tackling the Menopause like a queen follow Andrea Britton. Read: Meg Matthews, author of The New Hot. Leave a comment below if you feel moved to.